TV, Sex, Drugs, and Alcohol
by Alana Haseen
Summary: PG13 for language and humor. Duo POV. Duo isnt as innocent as he may seem. I dont own Duo or the other pilots but I do own the rantings of Duo.
1. Default Chapter

Summary: There is no real point to this story. It is just a random Duo rant after he decided to leave the rest of the pilots. He has gotten himself into a rough situation with illegal substances and other things that are just plain frowned upon in normal communities. He is ranting about leaving and the other pilots. If ya don't like hearing about Duo in bad situations then why exactly did you not look at the title? Heh. Review if ya want if not then I am not gunna hound ya or beg ya to review. It doesn't really matter to me.  
  
Rate: PG13- I have about one "cruel" and disgusting joke in this one but there are also places of drinking and hints of alcohol use. Plus the wonderful point in which Duo talks about all the sex he has. Nothing real bad this is more of a just-in-case rateing.  
  
Disclaimer: Ok I really hate having problems with this so I am just gunna do this manually because...I can. I don't own Gundam Wing, the characters, or the words in which I use. I do own the fic and the order I used the words in. Don't steal. In all honesty stealing this from me will only gain you a giant laugh and probable mocking will ensue. The funny thing is I wrote this at whim in two in the morning waiting for someone to call. Actually by 12 I knew she wasnt gunna call but I stayed up anyway. It was actually rather fun. So I kinda liked this, seeing as I posted it, and figured I mideswell write something short. Have fun, don't steal.  
  
Tv, Sex, Drugs, and Alcohol -Alana Haseen  
  
I had always thought that I was uneeded as a pilot, at least compared to them, the others that is. My skills are nothing when you have four other pilots who can do what you do and probably do it much better. I am sitting here flipping through channels and finding nothing to watch so I resort to thinking. Gee thats great.  
  
No but really. Everyone had their skills that made them unique compared to eachother. Heero was good with computers, probably why he was always on his damn laptop. I, personally, always thought he had porno on that thing but then I remembered that it's Mr. Perfect-stick-up-ass-soldier and he probably wouldn't know porno if it was shoved up the ass. Not that I am bitter at the moment.  
  
Wufei was just too damn good at everything, espically his smarts. That's what ya get when ya come from L5 with unlimited amounts of money to actually GO to schools. But honestly, he was really good at everything. Always up early in the morning and working on his martial arts which, by the way, he was PERFECT at. Always training his hardest and never really needing to train at all. He was what us imperfect beings would envy, adore, hate and love all at once. Damn him for being him.  
  
Quatre was always nice. Too damn nice for his, or anyone elses, own good.  
I mean I could see him getting ravaged and he would still have the time to have a casual conversation with you. Minus the fact that he would probably be moaning while he was asking you how you are feeling. That would get kinda awkward. Naw but the guy is great when he is around ya. He has that...empathy? I dunno some pathy word like that. He knows your emotions better then you do, the guy is a genius when it comes to that. Stupid empath guy with his stupid emotion-knowledge.  
  
Trowa....Well he was....I cant explain this guy. He was...admirable. He was a lot of things. Out of all of us he was able to keep himself intact much longer. Yeah, he was going insane because of it but he was able to hold out better. He had a fair share of smarts, street AND book. He had everything that anyone else didn't have and everything anyone did have. There was just something about him that made him stand out, I sure as hell didnt know what the fuck it was. He had the tendancy to be a complete ass, worse then an ass at times but ya always came back to him. Damn his fucking charm, if you can call it that.  
  
There was something that was there in all four of them that kept me coming back to them. Kept me fighting even when I knew there was nothing I could do to fix anything. And when I finally gave up there was something horribly strong that kept me there, kept me WANTING to be there. I don't know what it was but I will tell you that it was hell for me. Hell for me to sit there and watch what was going on and not even be a part of it. Hell for me to have all of these emotions and not be able to express them. There is so much to say but no words to say it with.  
  
I would give anything to be able to understand what is going on now, flipping channels is no longer satisfying. I have flipped channels for years and I have really gotten bored with it. It's the same things over and over again. What I would give for something new to happen with my life, something that won't end up killing me.  
  
What I would give to just go one day without careing what will happen to the other pilots. The drugs, alcohol and anonymous sex don't help me anymore. They have become ritual instead of habit, insanity instead of sanity, suffering instead of relief. The drugs add halucinations and "color" to my dull black life, alcohol add the strength to carry through the next day and the sex...Well thats just fun. Heh. Hey I never said I was perfect, being alone in a war for so long you get rather horney after a year or two.  
  
This life sucks. Not as well as a whore does but thats not our point here. I was the one who let them down in the end of it all so its no ones fault but my own. I am sorry. That's the only thing I can really say to them. Though I have failed to even say it. What I said when I left the room, and when I made a final statement was true. Those were feelings I had. Sorry for haveing them and trying to interperet them.  
  
I finally turned the TV off and head upstairs. Two o'clock in the morning and I am still up. This is not a good thing. At least two weeks ago I would be sleeping by now. Damn all of this. Swigging the last bit of Black Pearl I have left, wonderful Australian wine, I decided to try to erase my memorys of the four I left behind by drowning sorrows out with fear. Fear from myself, fear from my dreams, fear from my life. No one is perfect.  
  
Unless your the pilots of Heavyarms, Wing Zero, Altron, or Sandrock. 


	2. Sleep?

Summary: Duo is attempting to walk, think and explain things but for someone who is drunk explainign things can be a hell of a task. So here is part two. I will have part three up shortly.  
  
Rate: PG-13 alcohol and language  
  
Disclaimer: Actually I wasn't really gunna add another chapter to this because I had written the original early in the morning but seeing as I got a few reviews and requests, more then I was expecting in all honesty, to make another chapter I figured I can come up with another chapter or two of Duo rambling on. Maybe I can even put some of the pilots in. It was early when I wrote the original and its quite ironic that it is two in the morning when I am writing this. Oh and I still dont own gundam wing or its characters. Too bad. Here ya go, this'll be short but I promise the next one will be longer. I'm gettin kinda tired...That and Farscape is on.  
  
TV, Sex, Drugs, and Alcohol 2 -Alana Haseen  
  
I made it to the top of the stairs before I started to feel the effects of wine on my 86 lb body. Most drinkers look at me and tell me I don't drink...Ok I don't now give me a shot of Jack Danials and we can all be happy. But really, even the other pilots, who have each had their alcoholic moments in the past, are surprised to find that I drink. A happy guy like me? Heh. Well fuck that.  
  
That' who everyone WANTS me to be. They want me to be that so badly that no one sees the noticable things that I do, like not walking in a straight line. Now I hope that we all know who I am talking about because if I have to start thinking about THAT I might burst. Ta preview, SHORTLY, I am talkin about the other Gundam Pilots. All eight of them....Wait a minute there are only....Ack. Well there ya go I can't talk about them because I don't know who them is.  
  
What confuses me is the whole reason why I left them. I used to know but...After a few months it's kinda gotten fuzzy. Either that or the alcohol has started to get to my eyesight as well. I mean in one sense I think I left them because there was just too much tension. And there was too much tension. So much tension that eventually even Heero, Mr.Stick-up- ass-soldier, said he wanted to leave and when THAT happens may the world come to an end. I couldn't stand around and let a little 6 month depression tear the group apart, so I left for them.  
  
It's not like my depression was unprovoked but that little story is for another day. It's too long and emotional to be talked about now. I'm too tired and drunk to feel well enough to start talking about that. Maybe tomorrow when I have a bit of a headache from hangover but not now, not today, not when I stuck at the top of the stairs and unable to move because if I do start walking I'll start staggaring instead of actually walking so I had better be nice about it. The thing about what happened, for all those who weren't a part of it, is quite simple actually. Duo Maxwell, me of course, got all depresso and the other pilots, who were damn surprised I even knew what the word depressed meant, couldn't handle the fact that I was depressed and they kinda....I dunno everyone kinda shifted.  
  
That was a interesting season. When all hell broke out and fighting had no cause, no purpose, no reason, I tried to fix what I originally broke but...There was nothing pilot 02 could do about it. No one wanted to do anything so I left. And look where that got me. Drunk, High and extremely horney. Not to mention tired from no sleep in about....Well since I left, so that was about two or three weeks. Sweet!  
  
I managed to make it safely to my room! 10 points for the drunk Duo! No if only I could find my bed amoung the piles and piles of clothing, tools and random other shit that typically floats around my room. I suppose I will eventually find it but I am too tired and too drunk to care right now so I am going to go to bed in hopes of actually sleeping tonight. Seeing as you typically sleep when lying down and being covered with a blanket. Actually I currently am extremely proud of myself for trying to go to sleep early, at three in the morning. So I will attempt at sleep because every sane human needs sleep. Not that I'm sane but I do need sleep.  
  
Night. From the alcoholic.  
  
Authors Note: Sorry about the shortness I am real busy watching Farscape and not really paying attention to my writing. It may be awkward sounding but I promise you the next chapter has more detail and more...I dont really know the word but when I do I will write it. Review if ya want. 


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